“In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different,” – Coco Chanel
People normally fall into one of two categories — introvert or extrovert — when it comes to describing personalities. Early in my life, I was definitely labeled an introvert. I hated meeting new people, I had separation anxiety from my parents (especially my mom — which is funny because now we are constantly getting on each others nerves — but it’s love), and having play dates with my lifelong friends at homes other than my own was completely out of the question.
Thankfully, I gradually grew out of that extreme and became slightly more outgoing and opened to experiencing life. However I still had my limitations and continued to be more of an outcast when it came to my group of friends in high school.
I was never one to choose a party over a quite night in with a book — and I’m still that way. My main source of social interaction while in high school was either during the school day or being an athlete and because of that I wasn’t always the first person to pop into people’s minds when invitations to a party were sent out. It’s funny though, when I am put into a social situation or am invited to a party (and decide it would be best for me to be a normal teenager), I don’t disappoint.
I am very capable of being the life of the party — I meet new people, become best friends with them in the matter of seconds, and can keep a conversation going for hours. Unfortunately, I can only hold this front for so long. After a lengthy night of pretending to be an extrovert, I need about two days to decompress.
I think this confuses my family and friends, it’s almost as if I have controllable bipolar disorder. A lot of people — including myself — could never understand how I could go from “chick breaking out all the dance moves with the whole party watching me” to “the wall flower in the back corner itching to go home and stay in my room for the next 48 hours with as little human contact as possible.”
Once I started realizing that there was a third option when it came to categorizing personalities, I began to understand myself better and so did the people around me.
I am what people call an outgoing introvert and I am proud of it. This basically means after I get home from a long day of work where I have to be personable and outgoing and carry on a million different conversations, I need about an hour to just be with myself and unwind. This means I cannot and will not participate in the game “20 Questions” (MOM!).
Honestly I feel like being an outgoing introvert has allowed me to live a more balanced life. I’m not a full out social butterfly who needs to be liked by all and spends way to much time worrying about my weekend plans nor am I closed off from the world, plagued by social anxiety and afraid to try new things. I have a small group of friends who understand the way I work and genuinely like me for who I am. I live a very balanced social and private life and I never fear criticism. I think this is because being an outgoing introvert has forced me to really pay attention to my own intuitions.
Too much of one side can lead to social anxiety or complete lack of human contact. Seriously, some days I need a swift kick in the ass to force me back into the social realm.
There are a lot of factors out there in the world that can make us feel different or sad or scared. Life is a never ending roller coaster that is full of ups and downs and twists and turns, but that is where the fun in life lies. It took me a while to realize this — and I still have to sometimes remind myself of that — but those events that happen in our lives are what shape us into the human beings we are today. The key to being happy with the person you are now is by always being honest with yourself and accepting what makes you different.
Life is so much more enjoyable when you stop trying to impress everyone and just allow yourself to be you. Uniqueness is what makes this world so incredible and if you are lucky enough to be different, don’t ever, EVER, change.
Facing Life 